New Treasures

Is Sarita spoiled? I think so! Her Nono brought her lots of treats. From Disney World! He's here. Because he had to bring Cari Bear home. And he's staying for a few weeks. :)



These paper doll magnets, they're probably her favorite things to play with. She played all day long with them. :)



Look at these adorable shoes! Even I like these. Sarita sported these to church last night!



And a new dress up outfit. She just loves it! Thanks Nono! you know you don't have to spoil Sarita so much. But she really did love all her new treasures. ~C

Having a Blast!

I know, it's Monday night. We're supposed to be home. Well, at Memo's house. And I haven't checked my e-mail since we left. No house hunting. Nothing. Why? Because we're having a blast! This mini vacation is so amazing!

Because of Sarita's condition, we can't really go out during the weekend. She can't be exposed to that many people. In fear that she could get sick. That means our fun times out are confined to the week days. when less people are out and about.

Papa Memo and Sarita are still planning another trip to the Zoo. Tomorrow. And we want to take her on an adventure to the mountains. I don't know, we're planning on going home Thursday. We're all having a great time! And it's incredible to see our little girl so happy and excited about life. :)

Maybe I'll check my emails. Maybe I'll tweet. I don't know. But what I do know is, we're having a good time. A great time! With our family. Loving all the time together. Making some amazing memories. This is what we all needed. ~C

Sunshine Pregnancy

On Sunday, in the midst of looking for a home and packing for our trip, I played on Polyvore. I know. A good way to waste a little time. The site is addicting, I have to admit that much. But I was thinking about outfits for our trip.



I came up with this one. It's so happy and summery. Pregnancy in summer, it's not the best. Take it from me. I've never been to good at planning these things out. In fact, we went to Florida in August 2005 for Linda and Gabe's wedding. Talk about crazy! It was hot, humid, I was pregnant with Sarita, and had to dress up. Why did I waddle around Disney World? I'll never know...

But we were packing for this trip. And I thought about bringing lots of versatile pieces. The weather had been nuts around here. Rainy and cold 1 day, triple digits the next. So I did a layered look. Very cute! We actually made it to Forever 21 during the week. And I wore a similar look yesterday. Loved it! And I love how they sell maternity clothes now.

So there you go. My maternity look. It went from the a day at the Zoo, a train ride, and aquarium included. Oh, and feeding the ducks. To us going out to a nice family dinner. And it was nice to have a few options. Because it was hot outside. But freezing indoors. Thank goodness for Polyvore! And for La Chiquitita's suggestions of places to visit! She is from a pretty amazing city. ~C

I Need to...

I desperately need to learn how to sew. There are so many fabulous things that my daughter loves! But they're all handmade. And me and a sewing machine...well we've never met. I never took home ec is school. And everything about sewing seems foreign to me



But these cute little guys, they're from Happy Together. The pattern is even free. But I don't know where to begin. I called La Chiquitita, yes on her vacation, and asked her about them. She gave me a list of materials to buy. And tried to talk me through the process. Um, I wish she was here! Then she could help me. Or maybe just maybe, she'll make them for Sarita. I did buy the materials. I just don't know where to begin...

But I really do want to learn how to sew. I mean, come on, Cari Bear knows how to sew too! I think I'm going to be on the look out for the sales at Target. I know I've seen them on sale for $100. Maybe with my own sewing machine, maybe just maybe, I'll be able to learn how to sew. ~C

Looking for a New House...

Not going to lie here. Juan and I are a little stressed out. We need a house. Here. At home. We belong here. OK, we both grew up about 45 miles south of here. And spent most of our lives there. Until the flood. Then lots of things happened. And we moved east. First to San Antonio. Then to take care of our daughter.

Now, we're looking for a home. Nothing too fancy. But it has to be a 3 bedroom house. You know, our familia is growing here. We're hoping to stay under $250,000. And I'm saying nothing fancy, because we've decided to have a home built. But that generally means, 18-24 months. Oh boy! Maybe we should have thought about this before getting pregnant.

But we need a house relatively soon. Because I'm well into my 2nd trimester. And we can't continue to stay at Memo's house. Do you know what I mean? We love him. We really do! And he is just like family. But we can't do it anymore. We need a place for our family to grow. We won't stop traveling east for Sarita's treatments. But we're hoping that after our little girl is born, well, that maybe there is a cure in our future. We can only pray.

Juan and I spent the better part of today scooping out a few things. Some properties here. Near Memo and all of our friends. Now I really know why La Chiquitita and her Hombre are buying a house here. Close enough to the city. But still a little town. And if you find the right piece of property, almost out in the middle of nowhere. Love it!

We found a lot. One that we really like. For a really good deal. And we called our real estate agent. I know. It's Sunday. But you have to move on these great deals. She is starting our paperwork. An offer is being made tomorrow! In the meantime, we need a house. One that is built. And we're more than OK to live in the city for a year or so. While we build our home.

I found an old Craig's List listing. I hope that this house is still available. It looks like the current owners are selling it. A good deal too. Juan and I learn that it's best to buy directly from the seller. That's what we did in San Antonio. And we got an amazing deal! We just want to see more pictures. They had none of the bedrooms or bathrooms. Maybe even go look around the actual home.

And we found another listed on a local real estate agents website. For $198,000. The lot is small. There's not much grass either. But it's a good location. A fairly nice layout. Again, just a little small. 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. A cul-de-sac and nice views. The house generally looks a little small. But we just need a home for "now."

I know what you're thinking. Why not go with our real estate agent? We could. But she exclusively works on custom homes. And in this small community. Don't get me wrong, you drive down one street and you're in the city. But do you understand? It's a place where more expensive real estate is sold. And most of the newer homes are custom built. It takes a while. And that's all she does.

If worst comes to worst, La Chiquitita, Berto, and Sanchocito have all offered up their homes. I know that Memo would enjoy us staying here too. But we really want a place of our own. Now to go email the one woman from the Craig's List house. And to call the real estate agent and leave a message. Let's see who we hear from first...

Not only are we looking for a home, but we're going on a small trip tomorrow. Up north. About a 3 hour drive. We're going to La Chiquitita's (Nana) hometown. :)To take Sarita to the big Zoo, museum, and who knows what not all. We'll be gone for about a week. Maybe we can find a home by then. Fingers and toes crossed. Even if we do all of our business online. We just need a home. Can you tell that I'm super stressed out at the moment? ~C

Missing Cari Bear

We made it home yesterday. Well, to Papa Memo's house. and it feels amazing! He is definitely like a father figure to Juan and I. And Sarita's Papa (grandpa.) It just feels nice to be home. And to see all of our friends and family. We're just waiting for La Chiquitita (or Nana) to come home too!

It feels really good to be back. And we need to start looking for a house. Juan and I are hoping to buy a house here, before the baby comes. We have so much to do! We really need to get on top of this. We're not sure if we want to go through a real estate agent. Or just to go look for a home that is being sold by the owner. We'll just have to wait and see.

But this morning, Sarita came to our room a little sad. She misses Cari Bear. As do we. And Papa Memo. But Cari Bear is in Florida with Big O (or Nono.) Enjoying a vacation with her Nono. The house is so quiet without her. And we miss her so much! Sarita laid with us for a while before going to hangout with her Papa Memo. He told us tonight, that he misses his Cari Bear too. But he's glad that she can have such a great vacation.

We can't wait until Cari Bear comes home. But I hope she has a great time! Until then, we're going to try and help keep Papa Memo busy. Because he needs it. It's so sad to see him down. But I think Sarita is doing a good job at keeping him busy. :) ~C

Feels Like Home

We're finally home. Well, at least in our apartment. Sarita was released today. For just a few short weeks. But still, we're home. My baby girl is sleeping in her big girl bed. Her bed!

Juan and I couldn't be happier. Nothing is as amazing as putting our little girl to bed in her bedroom. And we're planning on going home. Back home. To the southwest. At least for a few weeks. We try to take full advantage of our time away from the hospital. But still being aware that we need to keep our daughter safe.

It feels good to be home. Plain and simple. I hope that soon, our little girl will no longer have to deal with cancer. We also hope that our dear friend, La Chiquitita, also doesn't have to deal with this horrible disease any longer. It's a tough road. For everyone involved. But to watch your daughter and your best friend both fight this horrible disease, it's tough. It eats away at your soul. And sometimes, you question life.

For now, I'm a happy woman. Our daughter is between treatments. And she's home. La Chiquitita is also between treatments. And on vacation! Mujer, I'm so happy for you! And we're heading home. To visit some of the most amazing people I will ever know. Tonight, I thank Mi Dios a few hundred times more than normal. ~C

We're Having a...

Yes, God is blessing us with a 2nd daughter! Juan and I are so excited! And Sarita is over the moon. Every doctor and medical professional she comes in contact with, they all know. :) We're about halfway there. And I'm feeling so excited and anxious. I hope I remember how to take care of a newborn. It seems like a million years ago that Sarita was a newborn.

But honestly, we're excited! Juan and I are ready to go home to start looking for a home. We want to move back. And we need to start looking for furniture and decorations for both Sarita and our baby girl. If we move, we're going to need all of that! I better start shopping. ~C

Happy 4th of July

Happy 4th of July! I hope everyone had a nice and safe holiday. We've had a great day. Even in the hospital. The hospital had a nice "cookout" for all of us. And as it began to get dark, we were able to head outside to watch the fireworks. Sarita loved it! And we were just so happy to see her smiling and enjoying herself. You know, she was just being a kid. The best thing ever!

We do miss our family and friends. And we miss the traditions we were so used to. Like Juan and the guys playing for the holiday. Having a big cookout with all of our friends and family. It's crazy! Our life has changed so much.

But it was nice to just sit here and enjoy the holiday. Our daughter is very much into holidays. And loved learning about the holiday. She can't wait to talk to her Tio Jose about it too! Being that he was in the Army for so many years. Today, we're just happy to be Americans. ~C

We're Expecting!

Surprise! Wow! I know. Juan and I have known for a while. We told Sarita, La Chiquitita, and Big O some time ago too! Don't be mad at any of them. We asked them to keep quiet for a while. Originally, Juan and I wanted to wait until week 20. But we just couldn't wait any longer! We're 19 weeks today!

Start the jokes now, but the trip to Hawaii was perfect for Juan and I! Although we missed our princesa so much, we're now expecting a new baby this fall! My due date is November 21st. And honestly, the entire family is excited!

We were able to tell our parents last week. On Father's Day no less! They came to vissit for a few days. And everyone is super excited! It's been a long time coming. And after all the problems we've had, this is such a blessing.

Sarita is so excited. She has been talking nonstop about her new baby. I'm just excited to see her sweet smile. And we've made a family decision. We're going to look for a home near our family and friends. Maybe just maybe, we can convince Nana and Nono to move back too! :)

Honestly, most of this comes from us wanting to be closer to our loved ones. And we're praying for all the best. After the new baby is born, God willing, Sarita will have her operation. And if all goes well, we can celebrate the new baby and a healthy Sarita. ~C

Summer

Now it's officially summer. Today was technically the longest day of the year. And we were inside all day! But we enjoyed our day.

I really do wish that I could take my little girl swimming, to the Zoo, and to the beach. All those things scream summer to me. But I can handle watching some cute movies with her too! That's what we did today. Oh, and we colored some pictures for Juan. :)

So how are you spending your summer? We're hoping on making a trip home in July. And maybe finding a house. Who knows, we might even get to go visit Nono! :) ~C

'Rella

Around here, 'Rella is #1! Sarita just loves her. And of course, Prince Charmin'. It's nothing we've pushed on her. Rather, it's something that she just loves. And everyone knows it. Knows it with a passion.

Her Nana and Nono are always sending some cute 'Rella doll or outfit. Sarita just loves them all! So we thought it would make her decision easy. She was granted a "Make-A-Wish" wish. Sarita just has to decide what she wants to do. And that's our problem.

I guess I just figured she'd want to go see 'Rella. But her Nono works at Disney World. So that was out for her. Crazy, I know. And she just can't decide where to go. She's talked about Sea World and even a NASCAR race of all things! But no decision yet.

Anyway that we spin this one, Nono has come to the rescue. When Sarita is feeling up to it, he's talking her to the Magical Kingdom! Our little girl is very lucky! Now to just decide on this wish. ~C

Wedding Barbies

Just look at what Sarita got at the hospital today! She was so excited! One of her doctors and his wife came to visit. On his day off. He's really a nice man. And they have 3 little girls. All are very adorable!

And with them, they brought Juan and I some books and Sarita a big pink box. Inside were these Barbies. She was so excited. And the 4 girls played for at least 2 hours! After how bad Sarita has been feeling for the last few days, she really needed some friends!

Now we have a really fun family to hangout with out here. The girls promised to be back to play. And my little girl, well she fell asleep holding her new Barbies. Thanks friends! ~C

Pigs

If it were up to my daughter, we'd have a couple of these guys. Cute I know. And delicious when they're bigger. We know all too well!

But Sarita just loves pigs. Funny thing, when she was talking to her Nana today, she asked if she could go see J's pigs. And to tell them that she missed them. The things my daughter comes up with! That's why I love her so much. ~C

Remembering

I came across Natalie's blog recently. And I've spent the last few nights reading through her archives. It's a really nice blog. Part craft blog, part family blog. I've been wanting to be more crafty. So maybe, just maybe, I enjoy reading her blog so much because I feel inspired. :)

But this post, it made me cry. It reminded me so much of our know "regular" routine. When Sarita was first sick, it used to kill me. Literally, a piece of me would die every time we had to take her to the doctor. Every poke, needle, test, x-ray, and eventual treatment...it was killing me. I wasn't sure how I was going to get through this.

When Sarita was first diagnosed, I tried to be strong. I needed to be strong. Juan needed to be strong. But it was so incredibly hard. Everything was difficult. She would cry when she went into her treatments. There were these skin crawling cries when she went for tests. And one day, it became too much.

Our daughter needed to have some tests. It was a day after one of her treatments. And that shrill. That horrible shrill, it pierced my heart. Juan was with Sarita in the room. I was outside. I sank to the floor. Face in my hands. Tears flooding over. I couldn't handle it. I couldn't pull myself together.

That's the day I met a great priest. He had been at the hospital giving a baby her last rites. And he found me on the floor. Completely falling apart. He managed to calm me down, and get me to a room to talk. Before my daughter found me upset and crying on the floor.

And over the last few years, I've spent an hour a week talking to him. Sometimes just random thoughts or events. Like taking Sarita to the Zoo. But most of the time talking about my daughter. Helping me to deal with this situation. I finally got to be honest with myself. and I got to talk things through.

I've learned that I'm not "Super Mom." That it's OK to show my emotions from time to time. It's OK to cry when my daughter is in pain. But most of all, I've learned to listen to myself. To honestly depend on myself, my husband, and our daughter.

I lean on the Lord more and more every day. I know that is very important. I've always known that. But I'm really starting to hand my life completely to the Lord. No questions asked. Being a parent of a serious sick child, it's beyond painful and difficult. But I know that I will do anything and everything in my power to make my daughter stronger and healthy.

Natalie's post, it just brought back so many memories. Mostly from those early days. From when I didn't know how to deal with all of this. I was never given an instruction manual when I became a mother. And most certainly, not when my baby girl became ill. But like Natalie, I do feel like the only possibility in this entire situation, is to be strong for my daughter. Sarita is the most important piece of our puzzle. We will do anything and everything we need to. Just so she is healthy and happy. ~C

Back Home with Our Little Girl

We're back home. And it feels so good! Juan and I are well rest and refreshed. A vacation is just what we needed! It strengthened Juan and I's relationship. And that is always important for our little girl. :)

But nothing felt better than hugging and kissing our little princesa! She seems so much older and wiser. We were gone for an ENTIRE MONTH! And I feel like I've missed so very much! But it's nice to be back.

We have 2 bags full of gifts for our friends. They are amazing! Thanks again to Nana, Nono, and Papa Memo. Truly amazing people! They really are like our family. :) It's nice to be back. And to have all of our loved ones near.

Now, it's time to get to Dreamland. Our princesa is fast asleep on Juan's chest. We just want to be near her tonight. We missed her so much. So tonight, we're going to enjoy sharing our bed. And in the morning, I can't wait to wake up and see my sweet little girl's smiling face! ~C

Happy Valentine's Day!

It's the day of love! And Juan and I's favorite little lovebug is 1000s of miles away. We called her first thing to wish her a Happy Love Day! And guess what? She already has her Godparents hard at work. Making her a wonderful breakfast! We're so lucky to have such amazing people in our lives. :)

Today, Juan and I have no real plans. Just to hangout. Maybe a trip to the beach. Honestly, we have no plans. Just to relax and enjoy Hawaii. To all of our friends that made this possible, we love you more than words can say!

And to the love of my life, I love you too! More than you'll ever know. I'm going to spend my life trying to show you just how important you are to me. Juan, every day, you make me a better woman, wife, and mother. Just by being you. I love you! And I Thank God every day for you. I'm a very lucky lady. Now let's go enjoy the beach! ~C

We're Going to Paradise

Our friends are AMAZING! They are sending us to Hawaii for a MONTH! Just me and Juan. For a MONTH! Oh my. We're so excited. Sarita, Nono, Nana, and Papa Memo had our bags packed for us this morning. With our tickets. I can't believe it. We're going to be here in a few hours!



I don't know how we got so lucky with our friends. We really are lucky. Nana, Nono, and Papa Memo are going to take turns watching Sarita. All the guys in the mariachi pitched in money for our trip. And literally, everything is paid for! I feel so blessed!

Our friends know how much Juan and I need this vacation. Since I got pregnant, we haven't been on a trip. And we could never imagine leaving our daughter when she was sick. But right now, she is in the middle of treatments. During one of her 6 week breaks. It's still going to be tough to be apart from her. But Juan and I really need this.

The last 4 years have been tough. We've endured our little girl's illness. And a few miscarriages. A major flood. And almost losing everything. Believe me, we're going to enjoy this trip. Thanks again to ALL of our FRIENDS! We'll see you when we get back from PARADISE! ~C

Glow Worms

Do you remember Glow Worms? I do! I had one when I was a kid. And it was one my favorite toys! Recently, I had noticed lots of kids with Glow Worms. And I put it on my list to buy for Sarita. I wanted to buy it for Christmas.

But when Juan and I went shopping, we couldn't find one anywhere! We even searched online. They were all sold out. Are they that "Hot" of a toy this year? Apparently so!

Then Nono came to the rescue. And Sarita got her Glow Worm for Christmas. She has been sleeping with her new buddy every night! It just makes me smile. I'm glad that Sarita is getting to play with some of the same toys that I played with. :) ~C

Happy Dia de los Muertos

Dia de los Muertos or Day of the Dead happens to be Sarita's favorite holiday. In case you missed it, we're Hispanic. We're Americans, but our families did come from Mexico. My husband is a 2nd generation American, I'm a 3rd generation American.

We lived near the border until we lost our home in a flood in August 2006. And then our daughter got sick, and we moved east for her treatments. But we've never forgotten our heritage. My husband is a musician, and it's a big part of our culture.

We noticed that our daughter had a HUGE fascination will skulls and skeletons. When she was very young! Very, very young! We thought, maybe it was because we were always in the hospital. I don't know. Then maybe it was because her Nana is studied to be a doctor. And she's always with some medical book or journal. Still, I don't know. But Sarita likes her skeletons. A lot!

And Dia de los Muertos is her favorite holiday. She counts down to it like it was Christmas! Last year, we got to be home for the big day. And we went to see some friends perform in a local town. It was so much fun! And Sarita soaked everything up! She got to decorate a few Sugar Skulls. They were loaded with colorful frosting, lots of candy, and they were simply pieces of art! She colored pictures, made necklaces, etc. It was a super fun day!

Juan got to play the music for the event. And Sarita danced and danced. It also helps that everyone we know is a musician. And we knew everyone at this event. But our girl had a blast! All dressed up and part of the parade. :)

This year, we're stuck in the hospital. And Sarita was already feeling pretty down about it 2 or 3 weeks ago. She wanted to be part of the big show again. And honestly, I think she just wanted to enjoy the day. Could you imagine being 4 and not being able to celebrate Christmas, your birthday, or Easter? That's what it was like for Sarita.

Juan called La Chiquitita. And they talked it over. La Chiquitita sewed a cute "Muerto Bride" costume for Sarita. and Juan went and bought a "Skeleton Makeup Kit." We're going to dress up our little girl today. And she is so excited! The doctors can't wait to see what she is going to look like!

In case you're wondering, Dia de los Muertos is a Latin American holiday. You are celebrating the lives of your loved ones who have died. It's kind of like All Saints' Day and All Souls' Day. You are supposed to build an alter and place sugar skulls, marigolds, and your loved ones favorite foods and drinks on the alter.

Since I can remember, our family has done this. It's a day to celebrate the lives of your loved ones. When I was really little, my abuelitos (grandparents) would take us to Mexico with them. And we'd visit the graves of family and friends. Leaving food, sugar skulls, marigolds, other flowers, drinks, etc. Musicians would sit in the graveyard and sing and play. Everyone would sing along and dance. And it would go one for hours and hours. Usually until the early morning of November 3rd.

The celebrate can be as long as 3 days! Starting on October 31st. But the big day is November 2nd! People sit around telling stories about the dead. The entire celebration is to offer things to your loved ones. Hoping they can hear you. And your prayers. It's about honoring the lives of the people you love.

A lot goes into this day. You bake lots of yummy things. And cook tons of food! Toys are left at the graves of children, and alcohol is usually left for adults. You can find people leaving blankets and pillows. Those are for the souls to rest on. :)

Pan de Muerto and Sugar Skulls are the most common thing you'll see on this day. It's like eggs on Easter or turkey on Thanksgiving. Matachines and Mariachis are very common too! But in all, it's a fun celebration. Maybe you can see why Sarita likes it so much! Now, I've got to go dress up my little "Muerto Bride." ~C