Having a Blast!

I know, it's Monday night. We're supposed to be home. Well, at Memo's house. And I haven't checked my e-mail since we left. No house hunting. Nothing. Why? Because we're having a blast! This mini vacation is so amazing!

Because of Sarita's condition, we can't really go out during the weekend. She can't be exposed to that many people. In fear that she could get sick. That means our fun times out are confined to the week days. when less people are out and about.

Papa Memo and Sarita are still planning another trip to the Zoo. Tomorrow. And we want to take her on an adventure to the mountains. I don't know, we're planning on going home Thursday. We're all having a great time! And it's incredible to see our little girl so happy and excited about life. :)

Maybe I'll check my emails. Maybe I'll tweet. I don't know. But what I do know is, we're having a good time. A great time! With our family. Loving all the time together. Making some amazing memories. This is what we all needed. ~C

Sunshine Pregnancy

On Sunday, in the midst of looking for a home and packing for our trip, I played on Polyvore. I know. A good way to waste a little time. The site is addicting, I have to admit that much. But I was thinking about outfits for our trip.



I came up with this one. It's so happy and summery. Pregnancy in summer, it's not the best. Take it from me. I've never been to good at planning these things out. In fact, we went to Florida in August 2005 for Linda and Gabe's wedding. Talk about crazy! It was hot, humid, I was pregnant with Sarita, and had to dress up. Why did I waddle around Disney World? I'll never know...

But we were packing for this trip. And I thought about bringing lots of versatile pieces. The weather had been nuts around here. Rainy and cold 1 day, triple digits the next. So I did a layered look. Very cute! We actually made it to Forever 21 during the week. And I wore a similar look yesterday. Loved it! And I love how they sell maternity clothes now.

So there you go. My maternity look. It went from the a day at the Zoo, a train ride, and aquarium included. Oh, and feeding the ducks. To us going out to a nice family dinner. And it was nice to have a few options. Because it was hot outside. But freezing indoors. Thank goodness for Polyvore! And for La Chiquitita's suggestions of places to visit! She is from a pretty amazing city. ~C

Looking for a New House...

Not going to lie here. Juan and I are a little stressed out. We need a house. Here. At home. We belong here. OK, we both grew up about 45 miles south of here. And spent most of our lives there. Until the flood. Then lots of things happened. And we moved east. First to San Antonio. Then to take care of our daughter.

Now, we're looking for a home. Nothing too fancy. But it has to be a 3 bedroom house. You know, our familia is growing here. We're hoping to stay under $250,000. And I'm saying nothing fancy, because we've decided to have a home built. But that generally means, 18-24 months. Oh boy! Maybe we should have thought about this before getting pregnant.

But we need a house relatively soon. Because I'm well into my 2nd trimester. And we can't continue to stay at Memo's house. Do you know what I mean? We love him. We really do! And he is just like family. But we can't do it anymore. We need a place for our family to grow. We won't stop traveling east for Sarita's treatments. But we're hoping that after our little girl is born, well, that maybe there is a cure in our future. We can only pray.

Juan and I spent the better part of today scooping out a few things. Some properties here. Near Memo and all of our friends. Now I really know why La Chiquitita and her Hombre are buying a house here. Close enough to the city. But still a little town. And if you find the right piece of property, almost out in the middle of nowhere. Love it!

We found a lot. One that we really like. For a really good deal. And we called our real estate agent. I know. It's Sunday. But you have to move on these great deals. She is starting our paperwork. An offer is being made tomorrow! In the meantime, we need a house. One that is built. And we're more than OK to live in the city for a year or so. While we build our home.

I found an old Craig's List listing. I hope that this house is still available. It looks like the current owners are selling it. A good deal too. Juan and I learn that it's best to buy directly from the seller. That's what we did in San Antonio. And we got an amazing deal! We just want to see more pictures. They had none of the bedrooms or bathrooms. Maybe even go look around the actual home.

And we found another listed on a local real estate agents website. For $198,000. The lot is small. There's not much grass either. But it's a good location. A fairly nice layout. Again, just a little small. 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. A cul-de-sac and nice views. The house generally looks a little small. But we just need a home for "now."

I know what you're thinking. Why not go with our real estate agent? We could. But she exclusively works on custom homes. And in this small community. Don't get me wrong, you drive down one street and you're in the city. But do you understand? It's a place where more expensive real estate is sold. And most of the newer homes are custom built. It takes a while. And that's all she does.

If worst comes to worst, La Chiquitita, Berto, and Sanchocito have all offered up their homes. I know that Memo would enjoy us staying here too. But we really want a place of our own. Now to go email the one woman from the Craig's List house. And to call the real estate agent and leave a message. Let's see who we hear from first...

Not only are we looking for a home, but we're going on a small trip tomorrow. Up north. About a 3 hour drive. We're going to La Chiquitita's (Nana) hometown. :)To take Sarita to the big Zoo, museum, and who knows what not all. We'll be gone for about a week. Maybe we can find a home by then. Fingers and toes crossed. Even if we do all of our business online. We just need a home. Can you tell that I'm super stressed out at the moment? ~C

Good 'ol Days Mariachi Style

Today my husband is back at work. Mariachi style! :) And it's starting to feel like old times. Sarita and I are hanging out at Papa Memo's house. With Sals and her girls. Spending the day swimming.

All the girls are napping. Sals is feeding her twins. Who are so precious! Papa Memo is fixing us a snack. And all I can think about is mariachi. I know Juan misses it. But I'm so glad that he is able to be with Sarita and I during her treatments. I know that must sound very selfish, but we need him.

But it's back to the "Good 'ol Days" for Juan and the guys. At least for this weekend. It's so hot outside. And I just hope that most of their gigs are inside. I already miss my husband. And I wish I would hear him sing and play. It's one of my favorite things in the entire world to do. Especially this song, La Chinita. It immediately made me think of him when I heard it on YouTube. ~C

Missing Cari Bear

We made it home yesterday. Well, to Papa Memo's house. and it feels amazing! He is definitely like a father figure to Juan and I. And Sarita's Papa (grandpa.) It just feels nice to be home. And to see all of our friends and family. We're just waiting for La Chiquitita (or Nana) to come home too!

It feels really good to be back. And we need to start looking for a house. Juan and I are hoping to buy a house here, before the baby comes. We have so much to do! We really need to get on top of this. We're not sure if we want to go through a real estate agent. Or just to go look for a home that is being sold by the owner. We'll just have to wait and see.

But this morning, Sarita came to our room a little sad. She misses Cari Bear. As do we. And Papa Memo. But Cari Bear is in Florida with Big O (or Nono.) Enjoying a vacation with her Nono. The house is so quiet without her. And we miss her so much! Sarita laid with us for a while before going to hangout with her Papa Memo. He told us tonight, that he misses his Cari Bear too. But he's glad that she can have such a great vacation.

We can't wait until Cari Bear comes home. But I hope she has a great time! Until then, we're going to try and help keep Papa Memo busy. Because he needs it. It's so sad to see him down. But I think Sarita is doing a good job at keeping him busy. :) ~C

Feels Like Home

We're finally home. Well, at least in our apartment. Sarita was released today. For just a few short weeks. But still, we're home. My baby girl is sleeping in her big girl bed. Her bed!

Juan and I couldn't be happier. Nothing is as amazing as putting our little girl to bed in her bedroom. And we're planning on going home. Back home. To the southwest. At least for a few weeks. We try to take full advantage of our time away from the hospital. But still being aware that we need to keep our daughter safe.

It feels good to be home. Plain and simple. I hope that soon, our little girl will no longer have to deal with cancer. We also hope that our dear friend, La Chiquitita, also doesn't have to deal with this horrible disease any longer. It's a tough road. For everyone involved. But to watch your daughter and your best friend both fight this horrible disease, it's tough. It eats away at your soul. And sometimes, you question life.

For now, I'm a happy woman. Our daughter is between treatments. And she's home. La Chiquitita is also between treatments. And on vacation! Mujer, I'm so happy for you! And we're heading home. To visit some of the most amazing people I will ever know. Tonight, I thank Mi Dios a few hundred times more than normal. ~C

Who Would Have Thought?

I think this is crazy! And so exciting! But both Jelly and I are expecting little girls. And on the same day! We were talking on the phone, and she jokes with me, I know what you guys were doing on Valentine's Day. ;)

Um, I have to admit. I was a little embarrassed. But that is why the guys sent us to Hawaii. Juan and I have been trying for another baby for almost 3 years. But with the stress of our daughter's illness, it was difficult. So we were so happy when we found out we were expecting. Then, when we found out we were having a little girl, Juan almost cried. It's no secret, he loves Sarita. And he loves being a daddy to little girls. So it was great news!

But to hear that Jose and Jelly are expecting too, well that was amazing! They deserve it so much! Jose didn't want to have kids until he was out of the military. And when he decided to leave the Army, we were all waiting for them to get pregnant. It's really neat to know that we're all going to have baby girls in a few months. I just wish I could spend more time around Jelly. I remember when Sals and I were pregnant at the same time. We wished we could spend more time together too. More importantly, I just hope that our daughters are born healthy and happy! ~C

We're Having a...

Yes, God is blessing us with a 2nd daughter! Juan and I are so excited! And Sarita is over the moon. Every doctor and medical professional she comes in contact with, they all know. :) We're about halfway there. And I'm feeling so excited and anxious. I hope I remember how to take care of a newborn. It seems like a million years ago that Sarita was a newborn.

But honestly, we're excited! Juan and I are ready to go home to start looking for a home. We want to move back. And we need to start looking for furniture and decorations for both Sarita and our baby girl. If we move, we're going to need all of that! I better start shopping. ~C

Happy 4th of July

Happy 4th of July! I hope everyone had a nice and safe holiday. We've had a great day. Even in the hospital. The hospital had a nice "cookout" for all of us. And as it began to get dark, we were able to head outside to watch the fireworks. Sarita loved it! And we were just so happy to see her smiling and enjoying herself. You know, she was just being a kid. The best thing ever!

We do miss our family and friends. And we miss the traditions we were so used to. Like Juan and the guys playing for the holiday. Having a big cookout with all of our friends and family. It's crazy! Our life has changed so much.

But it was nice to just sit here and enjoy the holiday. Our daughter is very much into holidays. And loved learning about the holiday. She can't wait to talk to her Tio Jose about it too! Being that he was in the Army for so many years. Today, we're just happy to be Americans. ~C

We're Expecting!

Surprise! Wow! I know. Juan and I have known for a while. We told Sarita, La Chiquitita, and Big O some time ago too! Don't be mad at any of them. We asked them to keep quiet for a while. Originally, Juan and I wanted to wait until week 20. But we just couldn't wait any longer! We're 19 weeks today!

Start the jokes now, but the trip to Hawaii was perfect for Juan and I! Although we missed our princesa so much, we're now expecting a new baby this fall! My due date is November 21st. And honestly, the entire family is excited!

We were able to tell our parents last week. On Father's Day no less! They came to vissit for a few days. And everyone is super excited! It's been a long time coming. And after all the problems we've had, this is such a blessing.

Sarita is so excited. She has been talking nonstop about her new baby. I'm just excited to see her sweet smile. And we've made a family decision. We're going to look for a home near our family and friends. Maybe just maybe, we can convince Nana and Nono to move back too! :)

Honestly, most of this comes from us wanting to be closer to our loved ones. And we're praying for all the best. After the new baby is born, God willing, Sarita will have her operation. And if all goes well, we can celebrate the new baby and a healthy Sarita. ~C

Summer

Now it's officially summer. Today was technically the longest day of the year. And we were inside all day! But we enjoyed our day.

I really do wish that I could take my little girl swimming, to the Zoo, and to the beach. All those things scream summer to me. But I can handle watching some cute movies with her too! That's what we did today. Oh, and we colored some pictures for Juan. :)

So how are you spending your summer? We're hoping on making a trip home in July. And maybe finding a house. Who knows, we might even get to go visit Nono! :) ~C

Happy Father's Day!

Today is Father's Day. One of my favorite times of the year. I've been so very blessed with the best men in the world. I'm going to write 4 letters, to 4 of my favorite hombres. I hope you enjoy! ~C



Dear Papi,

I know your my dad. And you're supposed to love me. And tell me things like I'm the prettiest girl in the world. But it's all those other things that make me love you so very much. Like when I just need a hug, and you're right here. When my best friend died, and my baby girl got sick. You were just here.

As a little girl, I admired you. I liked to watch you work. Because there wasn't a thing that you couldn't do. You taught me as a little girl, what to look for in a man. And honestly, I owe everything to you. Without that, I would have never seen Juan coming. I would never have allowed myself to love him. Or to be this happy. Thank you for that!

Every day, I'm grateful that God gave me to you. Because you make my life better. Like remembering my Nerds or Hersey's with Almonds. Thank you papi! I'm crying like crazy. Because I just can't put into words how much you mean to me. I love you more than you will ever know!

Love,

Your Little C



Dear Papa,

All those years ago, I was so nervous to meet you. I wanted you to love me. And I wasn't sure if I was going to make a good first impression. I still remember the day I met you and Mama. Juan told me we were going to go to your house for dinner. And I was so nervous. I took extra time to get ready. Making sure I didn't have a wrinkle in my clothes.

By this time, I knew I loved Juan with all my heart. I hoped that you would see that. And I hoped that you would welcome me into your family. And you did. I hadn't gotten out of the car, when I felt these 2 strong arms envelope me in a bear hug. I will never in my lifetime forget that moment.

I don't see you as my father in law. But more like my dad. I love sitting down to talk to you. Just sharing stories. I especially love the relationship that you have with your son and my daughter. :) I know, Juan is the man that he is, because of you. You taught him so well. And I want to Thank you for that.

The last 5 years have been tough. I've wanted to sit and cry many times. And sometimes, you just let me. Without judging me. But knowing that I needed it. Thank you! I know as long as you live, I'll always have someone on my side. I Thank God every day for sending Juan, yourself, and your entire family my way.

Love,

Your Daughter C



Dear Big O,

How did you get that name in the first place? I think it had something to do with La Chiquitita. But I'm glad it stuck. And I'm so glad that you're in our lives. Who would have thought, one of Juan's oldest and dearest friends, would become one of my very best friends in the entire world?

I remember that week that changed all of our lives forever. My heart was broken. I didn't know which was up. And I'm certain, you felt a million times worse. And then, our little princesa came. In all her glory. She was the angel sent by B to take care of us. I still remember that day. The day that you and La Chiquitita became our family forever.

Sarita could not be luckier. She has people in her life that love her so much. But I know, if something should happen to Juan and I, she would be well taken care of. Her Nono and Nana love her so much. Nothing in the world makes her happier than hearing from the 2 of you.

I know, deep down in my heart, one day you will become a dad. I know it's hard to imagine right now. Nearly 5 years later. But I know, it will happen one day. For know, I'm more than happy to share my little girl with you. God sent her 2 very special Godparents and an Angel. That much, I know.

Thank you for everything you do for Sarita. And for our entire family. You've gone way out of your way to help us. To be supportive. And to be loving. I will always appreciate that! And don't forget, some of the best family, is not related by blood.

Love,

~C




Dear Mi Amorcito,

I can remember all those years ago. On our first date. As young as we were. Dreaming about everything the world had to offer us. Nothing in the world could have prepared me for the life we have. It's not always sunshine and puppy dogs. But there's no other life that I'd want.

I remember when we were trying to get pregnant. All I could think of was the perfect baby with your chubby cheeks and big heart. Oh, let's not forget that wonderful voice. I prayed and prayed that God would bless us with a baby. One that you could teach how to make yummy cookies, love everyone, and maybe, just maybe how to sing too!

And God did bless us. With a perfect Angel. In the time our lives that we needed her most. Sarita came. Bouncing and all smiles. Just like her daddy. And although, we've had a difficult, and at times heartbreaking 5 years, there is no one that I'd rather be walking this road with, than you.

All the sleepless nights that we've spent in hospitals, wondering if our little girl would see the sun rise again, I'm glad you were at my side. Never once, have you faltered, given up, or let us down. You've held me when I've fallen apart. You've wiped away my tears. You've held our baby girl tight. Rocked her to sleep. And sang to ease her pain.

I'm sitting here in a crying mess. Just thinking about the amazing man that you are. I could never have gotten through all of this without you. Never! As loving and as caring as you are to me, your a million times that with our daughter. And I'd honestly, have it no other way.

Knowing that you're "Our Papi" gets me and Sarita through the days. Even the really bad ones. I know that you would do anything to trade places with her. But I want you to know just how much you mean to the both of us. We dreamt up so many wonderful things to give you for Father's Day. And I really hope you enjoy your presents.

If there was anything I could do for you, I'd make you "King for the Day." That way, you could feel just as special as you make me and our little girl feel every day of our lives. I'm so lucky you're my husband. But our daughter is the lucky one. She has you as a daddy. And one day, I know, she is going to find a perfect husband for her. Because, you have shown her what a real man, husband, and daddy should be.

Happy Father's Day!

Love,

Your Amorcita

Memorial Day

It's such a wonderful day! It's Memorial Day. A day to remember our military and all our country's fallen soldiers. For almost my entire life, I lived in a military city. One with a large Army base. There are 3 large military bases around our hometown.

So I've really come to have lots of respect for our military. I've had family members and friends who were in the military. And to be honest, we've lost some. As they were fighting for our freedom.

Today is a day to remember all those people that have fought for our freedom. What amazing men and women they are! So selfless to fight for our freedoms and security. I for one, am very grateful. And I'm very honored to be an American. ~C

2 Floods, 4 years

Juan and I were just talking about this. We have survived 2 floods in less than 4 years. It's crazy! But I'm happy that my family is safe.

This week it flooded here. We've been at the hospital. On the top floor. So we've had a view of this thing unfolding. very scary. And we've heard from our neighbor, our apartment is safe. See, I knew waiting for a 3rd floor apartment was smart. Even if those stairs are killer at times! But we're safe and healthy.

I can't say that for the rest of the city. And it's so sad to sit and watch the news coverage. The National Media seems to be ignoring this disaster. Reminds me a lot of the Katrina situation. These people need help!

The 1st flood we survived was in August 2006. We pretty much lost everything. Along with so many other people. Many being our friends. That's when we all moved East. Because literally, we lost almost everything. It was so scary trying to get my baby daughter to a safe and dry land. At times, I didn't think we were going to make it. But we survived.

It's scary. Floods are terrifying. Because you can't control the water. But I'm so glad and grateful to my Dear Lord, that he has kept my family safe. I'll be saying many, many more prayers today. Just asking for some help. Because this city embraced and welcomed us when we needed the help for our daughter. And now, they need help. ~C

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

I just had to post this picture. It reminds me so much of Juan! :) But I just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Cinco de Mayo.

This is when we really miss home. And our family and friends. Because Cinco de Mayo is a big deal back home. And my husband usually has days and days packed with gigs. And we managed to have a Matanza at someone's house. Generally, it's just a good excuse to hangout with family and friends. Eat lots of good food! And listen to lots of good music.

Instead, Juan made a big dish of enchiladas, guacamole, and beans. He brought it all to the hospital for the doctors. And even brought his guitar to play and sing a little. See we're still enjoying our culture! ~C

Remembering

I came across Natalie's blog recently. And I've spent the last few nights reading through her archives. It's a really nice blog. Part craft blog, part family blog. I've been wanting to be more crafty. So maybe, just maybe, I enjoy reading her blog so much because I feel inspired. :)

But this post, it made me cry. It reminded me so much of our know "regular" routine. When Sarita was first sick, it used to kill me. Literally, a piece of me would die every time we had to take her to the doctor. Every poke, needle, test, x-ray, and eventual treatment...it was killing me. I wasn't sure how I was going to get through this.

When Sarita was first diagnosed, I tried to be strong. I needed to be strong. Juan needed to be strong. But it was so incredibly hard. Everything was difficult. She would cry when she went into her treatments. There were these skin crawling cries when she went for tests. And one day, it became too much.

Our daughter needed to have some tests. It was a day after one of her treatments. And that shrill. That horrible shrill, it pierced my heart. Juan was with Sarita in the room. I was outside. I sank to the floor. Face in my hands. Tears flooding over. I couldn't handle it. I couldn't pull myself together.

That's the day I met a great priest. He had been at the hospital giving a baby her last rites. And he found me on the floor. Completely falling apart. He managed to calm me down, and get me to a room to talk. Before my daughter found me upset and crying on the floor.

And over the last few years, I've spent an hour a week talking to him. Sometimes just random thoughts or events. Like taking Sarita to the Zoo. But most of the time talking about my daughter. Helping me to deal with this situation. I finally got to be honest with myself. and I got to talk things through.

I've learned that I'm not "Super Mom." That it's OK to show my emotions from time to time. It's OK to cry when my daughter is in pain. But most of all, I've learned to listen to myself. To honestly depend on myself, my husband, and our daughter.

I lean on the Lord more and more every day. I know that is very important. I've always known that. But I'm really starting to hand my life completely to the Lord. No questions asked. Being a parent of a serious sick child, it's beyond painful and difficult. But I know that I will do anything and everything in my power to make my daughter stronger and healthy.

Natalie's post, it just brought back so many memories. Mostly from those early days. From when I didn't know how to deal with all of this. I was never given an instruction manual when I became a mother. And most certainly, not when my baby girl became ill. But like Natalie, I do feel like the only possibility in this entire situation, is to be strong for my daughter. Sarita is the most important piece of our puzzle. We will do anything and everything we need to. Just so she is healthy and happy. ~C

Happy Easter!

What a great day today is! It's the day that Jesus rose. He gave his life for us. And today, we celebrate Jesus.

Sarita saw this picture. And she begged me to post it. If I haven't mentioned it, my daughter LOVES pigs! We're all sending you our love! I hope everyone has a fun day! And don't forget the real meaning of the holiday. I know sometimes we get a little sidetracked with all the candy, bunnies, and pretty Easter dresses. ~C

Back Home with Our Little Girl

We're back home. And it feels so good! Juan and I are well rest and refreshed. A vacation is just what we needed! It strengthened Juan and I's relationship. And that is always important for our little girl. :)

But nothing felt better than hugging and kissing our little princesa! She seems so much older and wiser. We were gone for an ENTIRE MONTH! And I feel like I've missed so very much! But it's nice to be back.

We have 2 bags full of gifts for our friends. They are amazing! Thanks again to Nana, Nono, and Papa Memo. Truly amazing people! They really are like our family. :) It's nice to be back. And to have all of our loved ones near.

Now, it's time to get to Dreamland. Our princesa is fast asleep on Juan's chest. We just want to be near her tonight. We missed her so much. So tonight, we're going to enjoy sharing our bed. And in the morning, I can't wait to wake up and see my sweet little girl's smiling face! ~C

Happy Valentine's Day!

It's the day of love! And Juan and I's favorite little lovebug is 1000s of miles away. We called her first thing to wish her a Happy Love Day! And guess what? She already has her Godparents hard at work. Making her a wonderful breakfast! We're so lucky to have such amazing people in our lives. :)

Today, Juan and I have no real plans. Just to hangout. Maybe a trip to the beach. Honestly, we have no plans. Just to relax and enjoy Hawaii. To all of our friends that made this possible, we love you more than words can say!

And to the love of my life, I love you too! More than you'll ever know. I'm going to spend my life trying to show you just how important you are to me. Juan, every day, you make me a better woman, wife, and mother. Just by being you. I love you! And I Thank God every day for you. I'm a very lucky lady. Now let's go enjoy the beach! ~C

Por Mujeres Como Tu

Just thinking about this song today. Maybe because my husband kept singing it to me. I just love it! And I always love when he sings it to me. No matter if he's on a stage performing, or we're in our bedroom in our pjs. I'm really blessed to have the husband I have. I love him with all my heart. He is the beginning and end of my life. And I'm such a lucky woman to have this man love me so much! I just wish I was half as talented as he is. So I could sing him an amazing song like this. ~C